Pilgrim Mothers:
The Beautiful Example of Biblical Submission
I Peter 3:1-6
Introduction: Perhaps the greatest gift a Christian mother can give
her children is the example of living out God’s design for the family. I Peter 2:9-12
talks about our lives as “pilgrims” and our calling to be a witness to the
world. Submission to delegated authorities is an aspect of “pilgrim living in a
fallen world.” We have a society that is obsessed with “appearances.” Where is
true beauty found? “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the
LORD is to be praised” (Prov. 31:30).
Fathers’ day isn’t too far away and we’ll talk about the responsibility
that God has given men to lead their families. Today is mothers’ day. And it is
simply a fact that mothers, by virtue of the time and the unique relationship they
have with their children have the greatest influence and impact of them. A few
quotes from history…
-
George
Washington: “The greatest teacher I ever had was my mother.”
-
Abraham
Lincoln: “All that I am, and all that I ever hope to be I owe to my mother… no
man is poor when he has a godly mother.”
-
Emerson:
“Men are what their mothers make them.”
-
Churchill:
“If we want to change our nation, begin by enlisting the mothers.”
With all the uncertainties of living
in a Fallen World, we can influence our children toward coming toward the truth,
and no one has greater influence than mothers.
Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a
child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Someone said, “The lessons of the cradle go
all the way to the grave.” Teaching biblical truth to our children must be the
foundation laid by a Christian mother. Paul expressed the influence Timothy’s mother,
and grandmother, had on him…
2 Timothy 1:5 5
I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your
grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as
well.
Later in the same letter he wrote…
2 Timothy 3:14-15 14
But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed,
knowing from whom you learned it 15
and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which
are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
That teaching
is grounded in the Word, and it is fleshed out in the example lived before our
children. One aspect of a “pilgrim mother,” is that she realizes that our Maker
created the family, and that His design for the family is best, no matter what
culture is saying at the moment. This is a critical application of Paul’s words
to the Romans 12:1,2, “…do not be
conformed to the world…”, or as one paraphrase puts it, “don’t let the world force you into it’s mold…”!
The idea of anything other than a strictly “egalitarian” view of the marriage
relationship is viewed by many today as an antiquated idea, out of touch with
reality. But God has designed the
marriage relationship so that the man and the woman compliment one another,
they complete each other. They recognize
God’s plan and long to walk in it.
The Big Idea:
Godly mothers lead by example, as they show their sons and daughters the beauty
of God’s design for the family.
I. The Power of Inner
beauty exemplified through submission (3:1-2).
Likewise,
wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the
word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives- 2 when they see your respectful
and pure conduct.
Since we are jumping into I Peter
this week, we need to be careful not to miss the first word in our passage: “Likewise…” This reminds us that we need
to read and understand Peter’s exhortation here in its context. Back in 1 Peter 2:11-13 we read,
11 Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles [pilgrims!]
to abstain from the passions of the
flesh, which wage war against your soul.
12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that
when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and
glorify God on the day of visitation. 13
Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution…
That is the
context. He says we need to recognize and respect the authorities that God has
allowed and ordained. Then in 1 Peter 2:15-18 he begins to get more specific,
15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good
you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. 16 Live as people who are free,
not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone. Love the
brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.
18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not
only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust.
We
are to live as God’s servants, so we respect government, we follow our boss’s
orders at work, even when we don’t always agree. Then in 3:1 he says, “…[likewise] wives, be subject to your own husbands…” This entire context is talking about a
servant attitude, guided by love, respecting the authorities that God has
established, but about all, “living as
servants of God” (2:16). We won’t get to 3:7 today, but maybe we’ll save
that for Fathers’ Day, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to
the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of
life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” So Peter is talking about our mutual responsibilities in the
family and in the church. That is God’s design, not my idea or culture’s plan
or what is politically correct, it is truth, the blueprint of the Creator. Look at the power of that example…
“…so
that even if some do not obey the word they may be won without a word by the
conduct of their wives…” We need to
be careful about what we read into this. The situation seems to recognize that
there were some women who had come to faith, and either their husbands had not
yet been saved, or if they had, they were not walking with the Lord. The husbands
had heard the gospel. How do I know that? “…they do not obey the word…” That means they heard the word,
they knew the truth, but they were not walking in obedience to the truth. Even
in such a case Peter says, the wife respects the position of leadership in the
family that God has established. So he says…
Be subject to your
own husband –
Notice the language here – first of all it is not talking about men in general,
this passage is specifically referring to “your own husband.” That makes
it clear that that it is the husband/wife relationship, the family, that Peter
is referring to. It doesn’t mean that couples don’t talk through their
decisions together. I heard one message
this week that said, “Women are not called to leave their brain at the marriage
altar.” It means that she recognizes that God has established an order in the
family, and given the husband the responsibility to lead. She respects and encourages
that.
What about the husband that “does not obey the word”? This isn’t
saying the wife follows the husband into sin.
But neither does the wife spoken of here incessantly beat her husband over
the head with the gospel. She loves him, she respects him as the head of the
family, and her “respectful and pure
conduct” can be used by God to “win
him without a word.” The point I
want to make is that “respectful and pure
conduct” is not only seen day in and day out by her husband, but it is also
teaching the children, by example, God’s design for the family. So young men grow up appreciating their mother’s
character, so young women have an example that they can follow, and see the
beauty of their mother’s heart. That is powerful. Charles Haddon Spurgeon’s
mother was clearly as “pilgrim mother” who lived out her faith before her
children. I read this quote this week from his autobiography,
How can
I ever forget her tearful eye when she warned me to escape from the wrath to
come? I thought her lips right eloquent; others might not think so, but they
certainly were eloquent to me. How can I ever forget when she bowed her knee,
and with her arms about my neck, prayed, “Oh, that my son might live before
Thee!” Nor can her frown be effaced from my memory,—that solemn, loving frown,
when she rebuked my budding iniquities; and her smiles have never faded from my
recollection,—the beaming of her countenance when she rejoiced to see some good
things in me towards the Lord God of Israel…
Godly mothers have a powerful impact on their
families, as they lead by example, showing their sons and daughters the beauty
of God’s design for the family.
II. The Value of Inner
beauty which endures and does not fade (3-4).
3 Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding
of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing- 4 but let your adorning be the
hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet
spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
Peter goes on
to give more teaching about what this beautiful example really looks like,
first of all, the negative: “Do not let
your adorning be external…”
What this doesn’t mean – This is not saying that women shouldn’t do their hair, or wear jewelry.
How do I know that? Look at the next phrase, “or the putting on of clothing…” If it meant that they shouldn’t
braid their hair or wear jewelry, then it must also mean they shouldn’t put on
clothing, it can’t mean that! The word “adorning”
here is odd in the context, it is the word, “kosmos” or “world.” The world certainly has it’s own ideas of “beauty”
and we can get caught up in that. Even Christian young people sometimes
struggle with eating disorders and a poor self-image because of what culture is
telling them is “beautiful.” Listen,
you are created in God’s image, you are already beautiful, and the more you let
that image shine through the more your true beauty will be seen by those around
you.
What it must mean - What it is saying is that
her “adorning” must not be based on the superficial and external, that must not
be what she is relying on as the source of her beauty. These things fade, and
pass away. “Beauty” as the world defines it is fleeting, it is temporary. I
like what George Washington said,
“My mother was the most beautiful
woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life
to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.”
“Beauty” that is merely external doesn’t
earn a tribute like that. External “beauty” is truly only skin deep. Rather than
the merely external, Peter urges, “…but
let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart…” Instead of the
external, the superficial, and transient definition of the world, Peter is
saying that true, lasting beauty, begins in the heart.
“…with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and
quiet spirit…” The context here is clear, this gentle and quiet spirit,
respectful submission to her husband in the role that God has given him to lead
the family, is a kind of beauty that will never diminish, it never grows old,
it doesn’t fade. In fact, it is a beauty…
“…which in God’s sight is very precious…” That
kind of heart, that attitude, is “precious” to God. The word “precious” here is not very common in the
Bible. It appears only two other times in the New Testament. In the Greek
translation of the Old Testament called the Septuagint it appears another dozen
times or so. One of those is in Proverbs 31:10, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”
She is more precious than any treasure, her example is priceless. Godly mothers lead by example, as
they show their sons and daughters the beauty of God’s design for the family.
III. The example of Inner beauty
revealed throughout history (5-6).
5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God
used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling
him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything
that is frightening.
Examples in Scripture… We’ve been studying I Corinthians
this year and we are still some months away from chapter 10:11 where we read, “Now
these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our
instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.” We are to look to Scripture and learn from the examples, positive and
negative, that are recorded there.
1. First, notice
that Peter refers to “…holy women
who hoped in God…” They are described as “holy,” i.e. “set apart.” Based on the context this was a holiness that
could be seen, it was evident in their conduct.
2. They were “…holy women who hoped in God…” “Hope” does not imply pie in the sky wishful
thinking that everything is going to work out, this is biblical hope, a
confidence about the future that is rooted in faith in God.
3. “…submitting to their husbands as Sarah obeyed
Abraham and called him lord…” Sarah
was a beautiful and strong woman, and she recognized God’s design for the
family. She followed Abraham and affirmed his leadership in the family. He
surely was not infallible and he made some pretty big mistakes along the way. But
she recognized God’s design for the family, and she submitted to his leadership.
God made men and women to be different, we are different not because of culture
or tradition, we are different by design. And as husbands are called to be loving,
sacrificial leaders in their family, women are designed to complement men, to
fill in where we are weak, and to affirm God’s design for the family.
4. “…if you do good, and do not fear…” As
daughters of Sarah have their hope in God, He is their security and strength
above all, so they “fear less.” They know God’s way is best, so they are not
afraid of what people might think. So we read in Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful, and
beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Think about it, she knows God, even though the
world is such a mess and there is so much danger and uncertainty that we face,
if God is for us, who can stand against us? Is it true or not that “He causes all things to work together for
good to those who love him, to those who are called according to His purpose”?
Because her trust is in Him, she does not fear, her hope is sure.
The example of our mothers varies
greatly. Many of you have the example of
mothers who not only loved you, but exemplified the heart of a “pilgrim mother,”
one who recognized that only for a little while do we have the opportunity
to teach our children, not only by word, but by example. Praise God! Some
of our mothers are in heaven, and days like this bring fond memories, but also
some of the tugging at our hearts, at those times when we miss her presence,
and her loving counsel. Others may not
have had godly examples at home, but still, because of God’s common grace, He
used our mothers to bring us into the world and to sow into our lives, and here
we are! And we, the church, are a family
as well. What a blessing to have the
array of godly, committed women that we have in our church! We have women who
are committed to their family, and committed to our church family, committed to
God. Some who perhaps did not give birth to children, and feel awkward about
mothers’ day, but as you model a gentle and submissive spirit, teaching the
younger women and the children in our church family not only by word, but
especially by example, you are lifting up God’s design for the family. Because we are a family we share in that
responsibility.
What is God
saying to me in this passage? Godly
mothers lead by example, as they show their sons and daughters the beauty of
God’s design for the family.
1. The power
of their beauty is exemplified in their submission to the leadership of their
husband, according to God’s design. That is a powerful testimony.
2. The
internal beauty of their heart is something that God cherishes and their
family sees clearly. Isn’t that the kind of beauty that matters most?
3. Throughout history their godly submission to God’s plan and God’s
design for the family has been an example through the ages, so we have faith,
and fear-less.
What would God have me to do
in response to this passage? For the children, and the adults who still have their mothers, this is
a great day to celebrate the love and the sacrifice, and the example and wisdom
of your mother. For husbands thank your
wife for the beauty of her heart, and the example that she is (and yes, a
compliment on her outward beauty in your eyes wouldn’t hurt either!). For all
of the women in our church family we are thankful, because your love, your godliness,
and your example is influencing the next generation for Christ. God bless the Pilgrim mothers. Think about that. AMEN.
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