Spiritual Gifts, Part 5: Love, the Will, and the
Spirit
I
Corinthians 13:4-8a
Introduction:
Definitions are never easy, but defining a concept like “love” is especially
challenging. So we'll go to the experts. Some four to eight year olds were asked what love means and here
were a few of their answers...
“When my
grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails
anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands
got arthritis too. That’s love.” Rebecca- age 8
“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is
different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy – age 4
“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on
shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl – age 5
“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most
of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy – age
6
“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”
Terri – age 4
“Love is when
you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be
together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross
when they kiss” Emily – age 8
“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if
you stop opening presents and listen.” Bobby – age 7
“If you want to learn to love better, you should start
with a friend who you hate,” Nikka – age 6
“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then
he wears it everyday.” Noelle – age 7
“My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don’t see
anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” Clare – age 6
“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of
chicken.” Elaine-age 5
“Love is when
your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” Mary Ann –
age 4
“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me
all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” Lauren – age 4
“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down
and little stars come out of you.” Karen – age 7
“You really
shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should
say it a lot. People forget.” Jessica – age 8
“Love is when
you are missing some of your teeth but you are not afraid to smile because you
know your friends will still love you, even though some of you is missing.” Emily, age 6
Great right? It’s good to have people that love you, even
though you are not perfect, even though “some of you is missing”! There is One who loves you more than you can
imagine. How about this: “Greater love has no man than this: that he
lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Jesus did that for us on
Calvary. We were born in sin, broken because of the fall, something was
missing, and He willingly bore our sin on the Cross. That kind of love calls for
a response! John wrote, “Beloved,
if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another...” (I
John 4:11). “Ought” implies a choice, a
decision on our part, something we should do. After Jesus ascended into heaven He sent the
Spirit to indwell us and to empower us to live differently. As we walk in the Spirit
we will see our life characterized by certain “fruit,” the “fruit of the
Spirit.” At the head of the list we read, “The
fruit of the Spirit is love...” (Gal 5:22). In the first three
verses if I Corinthians 13 Paul talked about how essential love is in the life
and mission of the church. Without it, we’re just making noise. Now in these
verses he describes love by telling us what it is, and what it isn’t, 15
descriptors, positive and negative, so we know love when we see it. What does
it look like?
The Big Idea:
Love is both a choice of the will and a fruit of the Spirit that should guide
us in the use of our spiritual gifts. It
involves our head, our hands, and our heart. It is also evidence to the world
that God is real and at work in us.
I. The Head: it starts with a choice to think less of self and more about
God and others (It is an attitude the leads to action). Love is a commitment to a relationship that is
visible in our attitude and our actions (4a). We see that right from the start.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or
boast; it is not arrogant 5
or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful...”
- Love
is patient – The word here is translated in some older versions “long
tempered.” From that perspective, the opposite would be “short tempered.” “Patience” also comes in the list of the
fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5, “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness...” Several parallels between
those passages. Including these two, patience and kindness. It reminds us that love is a fruit, and also a
choice, it involves the head, the hands, and the heart. You might think, “I am
patient, I don’t lose my temper very often, and when I do, it doesn’t last very
long.” Either does a hand grenade but it
can do a lot of damage! Love is patient. As you think about each of these
attributes of love, think about Jesus.
The same
word is used of God delaying judgement, giving all humans an opportunity to
repent and believe, Peter said in 2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise
as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should
perish, but that all should reach repentance.” He would be just to bring
instant judgment on all unbelievers. But He is patient, giving time for all who
will believe to come. He is not willing that any should perish, but that all
would come to repentence. If God so loved us, we ought to, we are obliged to,
love one another.
- Love is kind – Sometimes it is a simple
act of kindness in a moment of need that demonstrates love.
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a
contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most
caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was
an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry,
the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and
just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the
little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”
Kindness, like love, is a decision to put others before
ourselves. To consider their needs as more important than our own. Jesus showed kindness by allowing children to
come to him, by meeting sinners where they were. He ate with Zaccheus, he
healed Bartimeus, he forgave the woman caught in adultery. He touched lepers
and healed them and He fed the hungry multitude. Jesus showed kindness, so
should we. Love is patient, love is
kind. These characteristics overlap, and all of them point to our actions
as well as our attitudes.
- Love
does not envy or boast... A humble
spirit seems essential to this kind of love. Andrew Murray described humility
like this,
“Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is to
expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done
against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or
despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord, where I can go in and shut
the door, and kneel to my Father in secret, and am at peace as in a deep sea of
calmness, when all around and above is trouble… The humble person is not one
who thinks meanly of himself, he simply does not think of himself at all.”
Love is so focused outwardly, on God and on others,
that it must be evident to those around us.
Remember the context is talking about our spiritual gifts, which God has
given us for the good of others. Love is both a choice of the will and a
fruit of the Spirit that should guide us. It involves our head, our hands, and our
heart. It is also evidence to the world that God is real and that He is at work
in us.
II. The Hands: Love is outwardly focused (4b-5). It is a choice not
only to think differently, but also to live differently. Our
attitude will be reflected in our actions.
It is not arrogant or rude...
Some translations say, “It does not act
unbecomingly...” That made me think
of the frequent admonitions we see in Paul’s letters to “Walk worthy of the calling with which we have been called...” (see
for example Ephesians 4:1; Colossians 3:1ff.).
Remember the story of the young deserter
who was brought to Alexander the Great for judgment? With his head bowed and
his face etched with fear the soldier was brought before the general. Somehow
Alexander, who was normally ruthless, felt pity on him. “What is you name, son?” he asked. The young
man looked up, with some hope in his eyes, and said, “Alexander, sir.” Suddenly
the general’s face changed to a scowl and he asked again, “WHAT IS YOUR NAME?”
The boy blurted out, “That is my name sir, Alexander.” The general then said, “Either change your
conduct, or change your name!” We bear
the name Christian (Christ follower). Sometimes Christians can be rude, or even
obnoxious in dealing with people in the world (does that surprise you?). It ought not to be so! We are God’s children,
right? Let’s reflect Jesus in our thinking and in our living. God is love. What would Jesus do? Love is not
arrogant or rude!
It
does not insist on its own way... I remember an acquaintance
who said when he and his wife were married they agreed that he would make all
the big decisions, and she would make all the small decisions. He said it was
working out fine, but he was a little surprised that after twenty years there
hadn’t been any big decisions for him to make! That is one way to avoid
conflict! But I think the more loving way is talk and to listen and to discern
together how God is leading.
The ultimate in selflessness was revealed in Gethsemane. We read in Luke 22:40-42,
40 And when he came to the place, he said to them,
"Pray that you may not enter into temptation." 41 And he withdrew from them about
a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed,
42 saying, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup
from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done."
Can we
say that? Not my will, not my way, but together let’s seek God’s way. Jesus
followed the Father’s plan to Calvary. If
He so loved us, we ought to love one another. Love is patient. Love is kind. It
does not seek its own way.
[Love]
is not irritable or resentful... When we are under
pressure. When we are tired. When we haven’t had our morning coffee (that’s too
convicting!). Jonathan Edwards had a very
difficult daughter that apparently exemplified being irritable, and even angry.
...Finally one young man came to him and said she
would like to have her hand in marriage. Edwards said, “No.” He asked “Why not,
we love each other!?” Edwards replied, “She is not worthy of you.” The young man asked, “But is she not a
Christian?” Edwards said, “Yes, but the
grace of God can live with some people with whom no one else could ever live!”
Not
everyone is lovable! In fact none of us is always
lovable. But God has chosen to love us, and He has called us to love one
another, not only those who love us back. Love is not irritable or resentful...
[Love]
keeps no record of wrongs... When
we forgive, we forget, right? Well, we can’t erase the past from our minds. But
we can choose not to remind the offender of past wrongs every time a crisis
happens! Remember the husband who complained about his wife getting “historical”
every time they got in an argument? We
can’t “forget” in the sense of purging memories from our mind. But we can
choose not to “remember,” not to bring up past offenses as ammunition in our
disputes, not to dwell on past hurts, that can slowly build animosity, even
bitterness, toward another person. As we make that choice it will change our
attitude, and our actions. Love is both
a choice of the will and a fruit of the Spirit that should guide us in the use
of our spiritual gifts. It involves our
head, our hands, and our heart. Perhaps most importantly it is an evidence to
the world that God is real and at work in us.
III. The Heart: As God’s Spirit fills us, fruit will be evident: our
affections will be changed and we’ll find Joy in serving Him by serving others (6-8a).
“...it does not
rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes
all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends...” (1 Corinthians 13:6-8).
What brings you joy? Paul says in v.6,
love “...does not rejoice at wrongdoing,
but rejoices with the truth...” Remember back in I Corinthians 5, the
Corinthians were bragging about their tolerance of sin, immorality in their
midst, and not only tolerating it, but bragging about it! That isn’t love. If we love one another we
have to care enough to watch out for each other and to hold each other
accountable. There are absolutes of right and wrong. Truth does not change with
the times. Public opinion does not determine what is right. The tendency to compromise God’s standard in
fact is nothing new. Isaiah warned, “Woe to
those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light
for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” (Isa
5:20). This is the language of cursing and blessing – God takes truth
seriously. God is love, and “Love does
not rejoice in unrighteousness, but...”
“[Love]
rejoices in the truth...” The
contrast here is between unrighteousness, or sin, and truth, God’s truth. Jesus
himself is the “truth” and His Word is truth. Love rejoices in the truth. Do you find joy in knowing Jesus? Do you find
joy in His Word? John said, in 3 John 4
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the
truth.” For John, the great joy of his life was to see God glorified
through the transformed lives of His people. I think that means our greatest
joy should be seeing God glorified as we use the gifts He has given us to help
others grow as His disciples as they obey the Word and walk in the Spirit. Our
joy is seeing God glorified in His people.
In this next series of declarations, I
don’t think Paul is saying the love puts up with anything, no matter what. The language here is poetic hyperbole, a
deliberate overstatement for the sake of emphasis. Love...
Bears all things – Love never gets to the point, “I can’t take it anymore!” As you have discerned by now, my poor mother
had her hands full with seven children, especially me and my five younger
brothers. But she never gave up on any of us. She loved us to the end. Think of Jesus with the disciples. Patiently
putting up with their dullness, their selfishness, their unbelief. Remember Philip in John 14:8, “Show us the Father and it is enough for us!”
He answered, “Have I been so long with
you and yet you do not know me Philip?”
Perhaps even more poignant was the scene in Matthew 20:17-21. Jesus speaks about what he was about to
experience on that final trip to Jerusalem. Notice the question that follows,
from the mother of the James and John...
17 And as Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took
the twelve disciples aside, and on the way he said to them, 18 "See, we are going up to
Jerusalem. And the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and
scribes, and they will condemn him to death
19 and deliver him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and
flogged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day." 20 Then the mother of the sons of
Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for
something. 21 And he said to
her, "What do you want?" She said to him, "Say that these two
sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your
kingdom."
Jesus spoke directly about his impending passion, and still
the focus of the disciples is on, what is in it for me, how can I get what I
think I deserve! Jesus doesn’t lose His temper, He doesn’t throw his hands up
in exasperation. He gently teaches them.
Because God is love and Jesus is God.
Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boast, it does not insist on its
own way. It “bears all things,” and it...
Believes all things – Paul isn’t saying “love” believes
anything. Rather he is saying that love trusts, it gives the benefit of the
doubt, it looks for the good in people and the possibilities in times of
crisis. Certainly it means in every situation, even when we don’t see the way
out, it trusts God.
Hopes all things – I.e., Looks to
the future with expectation. This is not blind, “pie in the sky”
wishful thinking. It is looking ahead with expectation that God is present and
is going to act in the situation at hand for our good and for his glory. It has
a confidence about the future because it is convinced that God is bigger than
any problem we are dealing with.
Endures all things –
Remains steadfast under the weight of difficult times. As the first phrase in v. 8 says, “Love never fails.” Does that encourage you when you think about
God’s love? Do you think you have ever
tested his patience? I think I have! Yet
He is steadfast. He never gives up on us. He patiently corrects, he
persistently teaches, and he is always present. That is love. It is what God
is, and it is what he calls us to show, toward one another, and toward the
world. You might think, “Well I love God, my problem is with people!” Well John
had something to say about that in his first letter, we read in 1 John 4:20,
“If anyone says, "I love God," and hates
his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has
seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.”
What is God saying to me
in this passage? Love
is both a choice of the will and a fruit of the Spirit that should guide us in
the use of our spiritual gifts. It
involves our head, our hands, and our heart. Perhaps most importantly it is an
evidence to the world that God is real and at work in us.
What would God have me to do in
response to his passage? Love? Your
eyelashes might not go up and down with little stars coming out of you, but is
starts with a choice. We choose to love, because He first loved us. Do you wonder if God loves you? Remember what He did for you, “...He sent His one and only Son into the world,
that we [YOU!] might live through Him.”
As we seek to know Him, love will be increasingly manifested in our lives.
How do we know God? By availing
ourselves of the means of grace He has given us, first and foremost, through
the Word.
We need to be reading the Bible,
prayerfully, every day. The Word is truth, it is profitable for doctrine, for
correction, for reproof, for training in righteousness, it is pure milk that
nourishes us, it is God’s love letter to us. That means reading the Bible
daily. We also need to avail ourselves also of opportunities to study and learn
together. The sermon outline is in the bulletin for you to follow, and write
down notes or questions. Be a Berean, go home and search the scripture to make
sure what is preached is faithful to the word. You need to be in Sunday School,
it’s a great context to learn, and to encourage others. The elders believe that
we should all be a part of a small group if at all possible. The early
church devoted itself to the “apostles’ teaching,” and we should be devoted to
the Bible. His Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.”
As
we read the Word prayerfully, we will know Him better, and to know Him is to
love Him. Remember our vision statement, “We envision a community of Christ
followers, rooted in the Word, treasuring God as supremely valuable,
proclaiming the riches of His grace to the world.” Love God. Love people.
God has gifted each of us for the good of the body, and for the reaching of the
lost, to the glory of God. Have you identified your 8/15? The eight to fifteen
people in your sphere of influence? Could it be that some of them don’t know
the Lord, or some have fallen away from church attendance? Have you begun to
pray for them? The most loving thing we can do, is point them to Jesus, He is
the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Love
God. Love one another. Love the lost. Think about that, AMEN.
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