Dad, the family Teacher

Dad, the Family Teacher Proverbs 3:1-12

Introduction: At the wedding a couple of weeks ago, someone was trying to empathize with me in light of the “empty nest.” He inquired, “Do you have a dog or a cat?” I replied, “No, only sheep…” Last year on Father’s day we considered “Dad the Family Shepherd.” Our next chapter in John deals with Jesus as the “Good Shepherd.” We understand the metaphor of “shepherd” being applied to pastors and elders as seek to lead and care for the members of a local church, yet its also true that men, as they have been given the responsibility to care for, protect, and lead their family also fulfill the “shepherding” role at that level. I decided to focus today one aspect of what Dad, as the family shepherd should do. Shepherds protect the sheep, and lead the sheep. Another thing he does is feed the sheep. Of course beyond the physical need to put food on the table, that refers to feeding spiritually as well. So, in one sense, Dad is also called to be the family teacher. This idea is not only for those who have the spiritual gift of “teaching.” Our responsibility to teach the next generation was “built into” the Old Testament and New Testament alike. In Deuteronomy 6:6,7 says, “These words which I command you today shall be in your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children…” Similarly we read in Eph 6:4, “…fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in training and admonition of the Lord.” Obviously this isn’t referring just to teaching by “word” but also to the example we set by our lives. One of the phrases I would often hear from my parents was “do as I say, not as I do.” The biblical model is that we teach by word and example. Proverbs 3 begins with a series of those fundamental lessons we need to impart to our children. Notice who the writer is addressing in 3:1, “My son…” And then again in 3:11 he says “My son…” Those two phrases bracket this section and tie it together as a series of admonitions, from a God fearing father to his child, calling his son to live rightly, in accordance with God’s Word. Big Idea: A godly father accepts his God-given responsibility to teach his children, by word and example the way of the Lord. A Godly father teaches his children to allow God’s Word to shape them into people of integrity and faith who humbly honor God and learn from His loving correction.

I. A Godly Father Teaches his children to cherish the Word (1-2).

“My son, do not forget my law, But let your heart keep my commands...” First of all, Solomon is not urging his son to obey his personal, arbitrary rules. The words here are deliberate, “Law” is the word torah and command is the word mitzvah (we know the phrase “Bar-mitzvah”, “son of the commandment’). These are the terms consistently used for God’s teaching and His commands. Because he himself has embraced and internalized God’s Word, since he has received personally the commands and law of the Lord, it is “his command” and “his law.” We do the same thing when we say, “My Bible tells me…” The translations vary a little, the idea is “take it to heart…” A godly father is himself in the process of internalizing the Word, God’s Law, and he also teaches his children to cherish the Word of God. **Spurgeon said, “A Bible that is falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t.” He also said, “The key to victory is “It is written…” This is more than just knowing what the Bible says… it means, as Paul said to the Colossians 3:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom…” *Lincoln said, “I believe the Bible is the best gift that God has ever given to man. All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this book. I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.” This may be convicting to us, since it has rightly been said that you cannot impart what you do not possess. Is God’s Word the final rule for faith and practice in your life? Have you embraced it for what it is, have you responded to it as from the mouth of God? Our attitude toward the word is reflected in our lives constantly… One of the things we pray for, as we are praying for revival, is that we would have a hunger for the Word, that we would “Long for the pure milk of the word that we might grow there by…” A godly father accepts his God-given responsibility to teach his children, by word and example the way of the Lord. He teaches his children to allow God’s Word to shape them into people of integrity and faith who humbly honor God and learn from His loving correction. It starts with the Word. Someone said, “This book will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from this book…” Right thinking will lead to right living.

II. A Godly Father Trains his children to embrace integrity (3-4).

“Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck …” This verse is closely connected with vv.1 and 2, and I wondered if the writer is still talking about the Word, since it is “Truth” and reveals God’s “mercy,” and that would fit with the idea of “writing it on your heart.” There could be a double entendre here, but I think the emphasis is on the outworking of the Word in our life practically. These are characteristics, marks of integrity, that flow out of internalizing the Word of God. Someone said that “Fame is vapor, popularity is an accident, and money takes wings. The only thing that endures is character.” As followers of JC our character should be molded by the Word not the world. It’s always easier in theory. Like the pastor who got on a bus and paid the fare, and then noticed the driver had given him too much change. He rationalized and struggled as the bus ride went on – maybe God was supplying in an unexpected way. Finally he was so convicted he went up to the driver as he was getting off the bus and said, “Excuse me, you accidently gave me too much change.” The man replied, “It was no accident pastor, I was at your church on Sunday and heard your sermon about “honesty” and wanted to see if you practiced what you preach!” We have heard the Truth, and known the Truth, and been saved by the Truth, so we should speak the truth, in love. Its also true that we have experienced mercy (and grace!); and so of all people we should be the most merciful, the most gracious, the most forgiving. A godly teaches his children by word and example to allow God’s Word to shape them into people of integrity and faith who humbly honor God and learn from His loving correction.

III. A Godly Father Instructs his children to live by faith (5-6).

“Trust in the LORD…” Is our trust, our confidence and faith in the God who is, the great I AM, the God who speaks and reveals himself in human history and is always faithful to keep his promises? “Trust in the LORD with all your heart…” Whole hearted confidence on the God who is, the God of the covenants who chose to reveal himself to humans. The God who showed his love among us by sending his only Son into the world that we might live through him (I John 4:9). We need to believe God, to take Him at His Word. “The just shall live by faith.” “…and lean not on your own understanding…” We need to trust Him even when life doesn’t make sense from our limited human perspective. I was counseling someone this week who felt despair over the fact that life just doesn’t make sense at the moment, they couldn’t see what God was doing. The simple truth is that it won’t always make sense, but we can trust Father, He is good, He loves us, He is trustworthy. “…in all your ways acknowledge Him…” The Hebrew word here is yadah, lit. “…know Him…” It seems to be a call to recognize God and to see His hand at every moment and in every situation of life. If we do we’ll understand better our dependence upon Him, we’ll see more clearly that He is trustworthy. Have you had any “God sightings” this week? As we acknowledge his presence and lordship in our daily life, the promise is… “…He will direct your paths…” As we trust Him, we can know that “He will make our paths straight.” That’s a promise. A godly teaches his children by word and example to allow God’s Word to shape them into people of integrity and faith who humbly honor God and learn from His loving correction.

IV. A Godly Father Counsels his children to exemplify humility (7-8).

Proverbs 3:7-8 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil… The call is to see ourselves rightly. Philip Brooks said, “The true way to be humble is not to stoop until you are right smaller than yourself, but to stand at your real height against some higher nature that will show you what the real smallness of your greatness is.” It must begin with seeing God rightly. Calvin in his Institutes rights: “…man is never sufficiently touched and affected by the awareness of his lowly state until he has compared himself with God’s majesty…” Isaiah 6, “Woe unto me, I am undone…” The more we know God, as He really is, the more clearly we’ll see ourselves. Paul asked the prideful Corinthians, “What do you have that you did not receive? If you received it, why do you boast?” If we understand grace we can’t be prideful, only thankful. A godly teaches his children by word and example to allow God’s Word to shape them into people of integrity and faith who humbly honor God and learn from His loving correction.

V. A Godly father conveys to his children the principle of stewardship (9-10).

“Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; 10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over …” “Honor the Lord with your possessions…” Easier in theory than in practice? Pastor was talking to his farmer friend and asked, “Brother, if you had 100 horses, would you give me 50?” The farmer replied, “I sure would pastor!” The preacher asked “If you had 100 cows would you give me 50?” “Absolutely!” he said. The pastor then asked, “If you had 2 pigs, would you give me one?” The farmer answered, “Now cut that out Pastor you know I have two pigs!” Are we teaching our kids to honor God with all that we have? Are we showing generosity in our giving? And what about stewardship that honors God with the 90% that remains under our care? “And with the firstfruit of all your increase…” I like the story of the little girl was given $2 by her father, “One is for you to buy candy, the other is for the offering in Sunday School.” Skipping across the street she stumbled and fell, and one of the dollars drifted right down the storm drain. She looked at the dollar in her hand, glanced at the drain, then looked up and prayed, “Sorry Lord, there goes your dollar!” Does the Lord get our first fruits or our leftovers? Solomon thought this principle important enough to include in this list. What are we teaching our children? A godly teaches his children by word and example to allow God’s Word to shape them into people of integrity and faith who humbly honor God with their possession. He also teaches them to learn from His loving correction.

VI. Directs his children to learn from discipline (11-12).

“My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, 12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” God doesn’t punish believers, but because He loves us, He will discipline us. Sometimes with the inward conviction of the Holy Spirit. Have you seen parents that with a stern look can stop a child that is pushing the limits? If we are attuned to the Spirit, and we sin, we’ll know it. If we ignore that God will sometimes allow things in our life to draw us back. C.S. Lewis said: “God whispers to us in our pleasure, speaks to us in our work, and shouts to us in our pain.” Discipline is not God’s wrath, but His love.

What is God saying to me in this passage?

Jesus was the Good Shepherd, the One who protected, guided, and fed his sheep flawlessly. As “family shepherds” Dads will fall short of that model, but that’s our goal. With respect to “feeding the sheep,” how are we doing? A Godly father will strive to fulfill his God-given responsibility to teach his children, by word and example the way of the Lord. He teaches them to allow God’s Word to shape them into people of integrity and faith who humbly honor God and learn from His loving correction.

What would God have me to do in response to this passage?

As we cherish the Word, embrace integrity, live by faith, exemplify humility, practice biblical stewardship, and learn from discipline, we are modeling those things for our children, setting an example that speaks louder than words. Let’s not be parents who say “Do as I say, not as I do.” Paul told his disciples, “Follow me as I follow Christ.”